Reflection in the Snow
by Soloshi Akuma
Summary: Hichigo spends a winter day manifested in a gigai, able to enjoy a day as a normal human. Under a few rules- No maniacal laughter, sword swinging, or otherwise psychopathic behavior. IchiHichi used for comedic purposes only.


**Ichigo and Shiro: Reflection in the Snow**

 _Hichigo spends a winter day manifested in a gigai, able to enjoy a day as a normal human. Under a few rules- No maniacal laughter, sword swinging, or otherwise psychopathic behavior. IchiHichi used for comedic purposes only._

 _Tags: Ichigo K., Dark Ichigo_

 _Note (BEGINNING OF TYBW ARC SPOILER): Ichigo's manifestation of Hollow Powers and Shinigami Powers will be known as Shiro/Shirosaki, and the manifestation of Quincy Powers will be known as Zangetsu. Just to keep things simple. Shiro will also be known as Hichigo for variety._

 _This may seem really boring at first. I had no inspiration. Later I started enjoying writing it more, but it started to feel more like a crack fic. So yeah. Warning._

 _Warning 2: Subtle Bount arc roasting._

 _Warning 2.5: I kept forgetting the fic took place in winter, so there's probably a few sentences where it says grass instead of snow or something._

 _I am 90% sure this is a crack fic. Read at your own risk._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, it's very hot characters, it's elaborate plans, or it's zanpakutou designs. Because seriously they're_ _freaking awesome and don't get enough credit._

"Getsuga _...tensho!_ "

The scorpion-like Hollow disintegrated, and Ichigo took a moment to catch his breath. It had been harder than usual. Nothing he couldn't handle, of course, but it still posed a challenge.

Sheathing his Shikai, he was about to return to his house when a familiar, warbly voice rang inside his head.

" _That was so boring, King. You should just let me take over to fight all those Hollows. I get entertainment, and you get rest! It's a win-win deal."_

Ichigo scowled. "Tch. Like I'd ever let you out. For all I know, you'd open a Garganta and start feasting on Hollows 'til you become a Vasto Lordes. And keep me suppressed the whole time. You aren't getting another enhanced training method."

" _That just shows how little you know about me."_

"I know enough."

" _My life isn't all fighting!_ "

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed, considering you're my instinct."

He could somehow sense that Hichigo was folding his arms and pouting. _"Another part of your instinct is to just be happy! Am I not allowed that?"_

"You've never seemed happier to me than when you were swinging Zangetsu around trying to cut people up."

" _That's all you've seen me do!"_

"And that's all you ever seem to do."

" _Come on, just let me out for a little bit. There's nothing to do at all in your crappy inner world! Old Man Zangetsu stands on his pole for days tryna' look cool, and Tensa jus' combs his hair!"_

Ichigo blinked. "Wait, isn't Tensa Zangetsu's Bankai form?"

" _Whatever. Correction: Whenever you do go into Bankai, which is rarely nowadays, he combs his hair. I mean, it looks like fuckin' silk already!"_

Ichigo chuckled slightly at this. "Ah, that explains so much. But no, you're not coming out. I can't trust you to that extent. I mean, every time you _do_ come out, someone ends up nearly dying. Byakuya, Hiyori, and Dordoni with just the mask. But not a perverted steel spider-woman. That'd just be weird."

" _I'm your soul, King! If you want me back in my place, just summon me back! Simple as that!"_ The aggravation in his Inner Hollow's voice was rising, and Ichigo tried to suppress his nervousness. When Hichigo got mad, it became the cause of Ichigo fainting during class, due to the enormous headache the hollow was creating. And that just left him even more vulnerable to getting taken over.

Sighing, and knowing he was going to regret this, Ichigo relented. "Alright, fine."

"Hell yeah!" A white, grinning face was in front of him before he could start listing out the conditions. "Urahara-bastard Shôten it is!" He then _shunpo-ed_ away.

" **Are you sure you're okay with this?** " questioned Zangetsu, his deep voice echoing inside the inner world.

"Not one bit."

* * *

When Ichigo arrived at the Urahara Shop, he saw exactly what he expected.

Urahara had one hand on his fan and the other on Benihime.

Jinta and Ururu were standing in front of the shop, wielding a bat and missile launcher respectively. Tessai stood next to them, hands in front of him, ready to cast a sealing Bakudo.

And of course, Shiro was facing off against Urahara in the front, sword still sheathed. He turned around and waved. "Yo, King, you took your time. Mind clearing things up with these guys?"

The orange-haired Soul Reaper shook his head. "Sorry, Kisuke. I should've explained first, but Shiro here is taking a day off. He won't hurt anyone. He just needs a gigai."

The man put away his Zanpaktou and shook his head. "My, my, Ichigo. You may as well be killing off Karakura Town."

"Either that or he kills off Karakura in my body," Ichigo sighed. "I'd prefer the former. And he'll be with me the whole time. You don't have to worry."

Kisuke watched as Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu walked back inside, marginally more relaxed. "Whenever anyone says that, I think the opposite."

* * *

Shiro got a multitude of strange looks as they walked down the streets. As a result, Ichigo's scowl was becoming a permanent part of his face, not only to ward off the curious residents of Karakura but also because he was annoyed at Shiro. There were only so many "Why is he so white?"s that he could take before he started telling people to screw off.

"Hey, King? What's that?"

Only so much he could take of those, too.

Ichigo sighed and looked at to where Shiro was pointing. "Ah. The bakery. Um...it's where people shop for pastries and bread and stuff."

"Can we go in?"

The redhead blinked in surprise. "Really? You're craving doughnuts now?"

"Nah."

Ichigo then saw the white chocolate on display in the window. "...I shoulda figured."

Shiro looked completely in awe of the smell of sugar as they walked inside, the bell above the door ringing. Ichigo unwrapped the scarf around his neck, relishing in the heating system. He then caught sight of a caramel-haired girl off to the side, scarfing down a box of doughnuts. "Hey, Orihime!"

The cheerful teenager looked up and waved, and Ichigo noticed Tatsuki by her side. "Ah. Hey, Tatsuki."

"Yo."

Suddenly, Ichigo realized that Orihime would recognize Shiro as a hollow. Judging by how she reacted when she saw him with a hollow mask, she would definitely freak out if she saw the full being. _I can talk to him telepathically, right? He lives inside my soul. Shiro? Shiro!_

The psychopath looked up from the White Christmas cookies, and Ichigo resisted the urge to smirk. _Orihime's here. You have to hide or something._

 _You've got to be kidding me!_ whined his counterpart. Nonetheless, when Orihime walked over, Shiro quickly sat at a booth hidden by a wall.

"What are you doing at a sweet shop, Kurosaki-kun? I always thought you were more of a zucchini curry kind of person." Ichigo sweatdropped as her eyes widened in delight. "Ooh, I should make that tonight! Should I bring some over to your house?"

 _Please no._ He pointedly ignored Shiro's chuckles. "Nah, it's okay. Yuzu's cooking a feast tonight. I wouldn't want her think I don't appreciate her."

Orihime smiled brightly. "That's alright! More for me, then!"

Tatsuki then came over, looking curious. "Hey, Ichigo. Who was that white dude with you earlier?"

 _OH SHIT!_

It would have been amusing that both he and Shiro thought the exact same thing if it were not such a dire situation.

"Oh. He's my cousin, Hichi."

 _Hichi?! What kind of name is that, King?_

 _Shut up! I'm improvising on the spot here!_

Tatsuki raised an eyebrow. "I've never heard you mention him before."

"He lives in Canada. We don't get to see him very often."

 _Canada? Where the hell is that?_

 _I heard it somewhere in class. I trust that it's a real place._

 _You couldn't just say I lived elsewhere in Japan? Like, I don't know, Konoha Town?_

 _Canada sounds far away. I can't have you living too close to me, otherwise they'll wonder why they didn't send you over when Masaki died._

 _Oh Kami you're hopeless._

He then noticed Tatsuki looking at him expectantly. "Uh...what did you say? I kinda zoned out there for a bit…"

"I asked why he didn't move over here."

 _I TOLD YOU, KING!_

 _NO, YOU DIDN'T!_

"He lives pretty far away. And besides I always had Isshin. And Hichi tends to be on the...weird scale of things, you know? Not a very good brother figure for Karin and Yuzu."

 _Oh, wow, thanks._

 _You're a bleached, psychopathic copy of me. Don't try to tell me what's weird._

"Your dad seems to be on the weird side of things, too," Tatsuki remarked.

 _Ooh! Burn!_ Shiro chortled.

"Hichi's weirder."

 _Right back at you._ Ichigo smirked as his Hollow twitched.

 _That wasn't aimed at you!_

 _Doesn't mean I can't roast you. Only reason you're outside right now is because I let you. I should get to have some fun._

Tatsuki shrugged. "If he's that bad, I'm not staying around for long. Come on, Orihime, those doughnuts have been long gone." She tugged her friend away from the scattered sprinkles in the box. "See you around, Ichigo."

As soon as the door closed, Ichigo heaved in relief and turned around to see Shiro's head popping up from behind the wall. "That was close, King," Shiro grumbled. "You lie like Pinocchio."

"Hey- Wait, who's Pinocchio?"

Shiro blinked. "...I don't know. Just seemed like an icon for a person who lies like shit."

"Uruse!"

* * *

"I just realized something," Ichigo mused as they walked down the street. Hichigo was holding a bag of Christmas cookies. "Uryu is going to sense your reiatsu soon. And you can't hide inside me, since you're in a gigai, which would be left out in the street. He'd try to obliterate you. Then I'd get a beating."

Hichigo shrugged, stuffing another baked good into his mouth. "Not my problem. I'm safe inside you, and you'll be the one getting pulverized, not me. My gigai can fend for itself."

"Bastard."

"Thank you very much."

""IIIIICHHIIIIIIGOOOOOO!"

Both heads whipped to see Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro running their way. Mizuiro and Chad weren't exactly running, however. That role belonged to Keigo, along with the scream, with his arms wide open.

 _GAH SHIT!_

Shiro suddenly slumped to the ground, and Ichigo growled to the voice inside his head. _You couldn't have just run?! Or walked away calmly?_

 _S' not my fault! He already saw me!_

 _You slumping to the ground lifelessly isn't helping my case._

Ichigo hurled the body onto his shoulder, realizing in relief that it possessed no Hollow reiatsu. Quickly he transferred some of his own into it. _Alright, Shiro. You're going to be Hichi again. You've fallen asleep because you're tired, and your spiritual pressure is similar to mine because we're cousins._

 _You couldn't have just shoved me into a snowbank._

 _They already saw you. To Mizuiro and Keigo, it would look like I killed you and try to hide the murder. And Chad knows that Hollows disintegrate, not fall to the ground. That wouldn't be an option._

Ichigo suspected that Hichigo was now sulking inside one of the buildings as a result of him being wrong.

The redhead quickly sidestepped Keigo, who crashed into the dumpster behind him. "Would you keep it down? My cousin just fell asleep."

"OW!"

Mizuiro and Chad arrived a moment later. Chad eyed Hichigo warily, while Mizuiro voiced his concerns out loud, ignoring Keigo's bruised state. "Ichigo, who are you carrying over your shoulder? It sort of looks like you knocked him out. Are you planning to take him…to your bed?"

"NANI?!"

 _YOU SHOULD'VE THROWN ME INTO THE SNOWBANK, KING!_

 _STOP CALLING ME KING IT SOUNDS WEIRD_

 _DON'T MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THAT KING_

 _WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU_

 _DON'T CALL YOU KING_

 _EXACTLY_

 _SO SHOULD I CALL YOU MASTER OR_

 _HELL NO_

 _THIS ALSO SOUNDS WRONG_

 _AGGHHHHHHH_

"NO!" Ichigo nearly screamed. "He's my cousin and he just fell asleep because he traveled so far and he looks so much like me-" He lifted up the gigai's head for reference. "that it could be considered selfcest not to mention incest and j-just AGH, NO!"

Mizuiro blinked. "Oh. And here I thought you were actually getting a sex life."

"HE'S MY COUSIN!"

 _You sound so desperate that I even believed I was your cousin for a second._

 _Shut up!_

"You never told us you had a cousin," Chad pointed out.

"BUT-"

 _Deep breaths, King._

 _I TOLD YOU- ah, never mind._

Ichigo forced himself to take in in the winter air, and found it much easier to breathe. "...hah. He usually lives in Canada, so he doesn't get to come around often. But since it's winter break, his parents thought it would be a good idea for him to see me."

Keigo- who had somehow recovered without a scratch-, Chad, and Mizuiro all nodded.

Ichigo saw an outing from the conversation and took it as fast as possible. "Y'know, I should probably get him back home. Let him sleep for a bit and all that."

"Gotcha. Hey Mizuiro, Chad, did you see the new ride at the Winter fair? It sounds so awesome and yet so scary…"

Ichigo began walking away, silently sighing in relief. _Hey, Shiro. Can I take this gigai back to Urahara Shōten now?_

 _Are you a masochist?_

 _I don't think so. Grimmjow thinks I am, though…_

 _Let's pretend we didn't hear any of that and that you said "no"._

 _You just want to sound cool._

 _Liar._

 _Funny that you should say that._

* * *

Once they were a safe distance away, Hichigo reentered the gigai. He flexed his arms gingerly before his eyes widened. "Ah, shoot. I forgot the cookies in your soul world."

"You can get them after," Ichigo sighed.

"You monster."

"Says the Hollow."

Ichigo looked around. They were on a street in front of the convenience store. "Oh, are we still doing that tour thing? Because this is the store where Ikkaku found his love for bentos. Also, that guy with the forgettable name worked here during that shitty filler arc."

"Eh...it was flower...hana...doe?" Shiro blinked in confusion, face contorting into a thoughtful look. At least, as thoughtful as the Hollow would ever appear to be. "Hot damn, he really does have a forgettable name. I almost pity the dude. We've got names like Kisuke Urahara, Byakuya Kuchiki, Sōsuke Aizen, Retsu Unohana, and then...Tarō."

Ichigo shrugged, opening the door. "Does no real harm to go in here."

He regretted that statement a second later.

"WHOOO, YEAH, BONNIE! SEND THEIR SORRY ASSES INTO THE DIRT!"

" _GAH!_ "

Shiro barely managed to snatch Ichigo out of the raging boar's path, Ganju riding atop her. He was dressed in typical violet convenience store garb, and Bonnie had on a small scrap of cloth around her neck that Shiro presumed was a handkerchief. Leaning forward, he was able to see three people lying facedown on the trampled floors.

"S-Shiro...uh...you can let go now..."

The hollow looked down at Ichigo, who he had his arms tightly wrapped around. Red spread across his face as he could feel the slim but muscled waist beneath his hands as well as the body heat from the redhead pressing against his own chest.

 _Fuck, I feel like I'm in a goddamn shounen-ai manga!_

 _Don't make the protecting thing so obvious!_

He couldn't have let go of his host faster. And for good measure, he kneed him in the behind, sending Ichigo sprawling onto the frozen sidewalk. Shiro attempted a facepalm to try and hide his face. If he, the heartless hollow who tried to kill his host, were to be caught _blushing_ because of said host, that would be the end of him. "Hey! Bastard-"

"Ichigo."

Said teen looked up at Ganju, who was standing over him with arms crossed sternly. He swallowed nervously, the angry blush quickly fading from his own face. "U-uh…"

"Who is that?"

Ichigo and Shiro's eyes widened. _Shit._

 _Hey Shiro, you were in my mind even before we went into the Soul Society for the first time, right? So you know about our time at Kukaku's house._

 _Yep._

 _And you know how Ganju had to help me with controlling my spiritual pressure?_

 _Yep._

 _Would that signify that he's probably good at sensing reiatsu?_

 _Yep._

 _Crap._

"A-ah...uh…"

Ganju glowered at him for a few more seconds before a wide grin split his face. "Well, you've finally gone and done it, Ichigo! Congratulations!"

 _SHIRO I DON'T THINK HE'S ACTUALLY THAT GOOD AT REIATSU SENSING_

 _I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING EITHER_

"You've got a boyfr-"

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND, SO SHUT UP, GANJU!" A punch to the face was instantly delivered to the stockier man's chin, and he flew a few feet away.

The blush was back in full force on both faces.

"The second time today," Ichigo seethed, tics appearing on his forehead. "The _second._ "

Shiro frowned. "Actually, though, we're found in kind of weird positions whenever they try to assume that, so…"

"Don't you start getting logical here, Shi- Hichi!"

 _Right. We're supposed to be cousins._

 _It feels really awkward saying that after everything that's happened today._

Ganju glared at them from his bruised position. "Geez, Ichigo. One wrong assumption doesn't mean I'm a punching bag."

"You totally can be if you're implying incest! Why are you riding Bonnie?!"

"Those customers scum over there-" Ganju gestured to the flattened patrons. "-thought that convenience stores were supposed to do things quickly."

"They are!"

"Hey, do you want Bonnie to stomp you, too?"

"For telling the freakin' truth?!"

Shiro sweatdropped as the two began a long argument, and sighed. It was hard to imagine that they had been able to cooperate in Soul Society. It seemed like so long ago when they had tried to save Rukia. Probably because of that god-awful Bount arc. And yet Shiro had somehow made Ichigo see Kariya when fighting him with the Vizard's intervention? That part still didn't make sense.

He could hear a soft scuffling sound, and noticed the Tarou person guiltily apologizing on behalf of Ganju, and promising free merchandise for a week. With Ganju's antics, it seemed like they would start go broke soon. Idly, he wondered where the manager was. _Probably in a coma, with all this racket._

"Oi, Shiro. You're going back inside now."

"Idiot, you can't talk about that now!" he snapped out of reflex, before noticing that Ganju and Flower Boy were back inside the shop. The former with a multitude of bruises and a sour expression. "Oh." The meaning of Ichigo's words suddenly hit him. "Wait, what?! NO! You can't make me!"

Ichigo gave him a deadpan expression. "Shiro, it's almost nighttime. There's no point in staying out any longer."

 _Shit, gotta think of something fast…_ Hichigo looked and saw the setting sun. "Ooh! I haven't seen one of those in a while! Let's go watch!" He dashed away, leaving an infuriated Ichigo behind.

"HICHI!"

* * *

"Shit...Hichi! Where are you?!" Ichigo called irritably. _I've been looking for the past 10 minutes. How did he disappear so fast? Did Uryu get him?_

 _Wait...can't I use the spirit ribbons?_

He sat down and began to sense his surroundings. Many white ribbons surrounded him instantly, signifying the normal souls. The red one of that Imoyama guy. He then saw a purple one and grabbed it. The blue reishi around him faded as he followed the purple ribbon along the riverside. A mop of white hair appeared on the horizon line, and he sighed, sprinting towards his counterpart. "Shiro, where have you…" he called, drifting off when he noticed the distant look in the hollow's eyes.

Shiro didn't even seem to notice him. "Masaki," he murmured. Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise. "I'm sorry. This is where you died, right? I wish I could have protected you…"

Ichigo blinked. Slowly, he sat down beside the hollow, watching the sun glow brilliantly as it took in its final breaths. They sat quietly for a moment. Remembering Grand Fisher, Masaki, and the emotions that came with them.

"Shiro…"

Hichigo looked up, eyes half-lidded, and Ichigo felt a stab of pity. "You've always been here, haven't you?" he asked quietly. "You weren't formed when Urahara sent me into that pit. You just emerged. But you've always been watching everything I've been doing."

Shiro returned his gaze to the snow-covered riverbank. "...yeah. I can only see whatever you see. But I have a different consciousness. While you were knocked out, I could still hear it. Masaki's anguished cries. Grand Fisher's merciless laughter. It pained me to not be able to do anything about it. From then on, I wanted to protect you from all this pain."

Ichigo gently laid a hand on Shiro's shoulder. "I'm sorry…you shouldn't have gone through that," he murmured. "But I don't deserve protection. I want to protect others."

His hollow smiled at him weakly. "The things you want to protect are not the same things I want to protect," he sighed. "You've gone through too much."

"But I want to protect you," Ichigo protested. Shiro's head snapped up instantly as Ichigo continued with heartbreak pouring into his voice. "Your feeling of helplessness was amplified. You had to witness Masaki's death. You're the one who's gone through too much. Can't you see?"

"I'm a hollow, Ichigo. We don't have feelings. We live to attack, fight, and get revenge. I didn't feel half of what you did-"

"That's a lie!" Ichigo blurted. Shiro only gave him a sad look, and Ichigo knelt in front of him, placing a hand on his inner hollow's face. "You're crying...Shiro."

Shiro blinked before processing the wet feeling on his cheeks. His expression switched to confused, as if he didn't know what was happening.

"Have you never cried?" Ichigo inquired softly. His counterpart shook his head solemnly. The redhead hesitated for a moment, before slowly wrapping his arms around Shiro's waist, locking him in a tight hug. The hollow's eyes widened as more tears spilled out, running down the side of his face. "It's what happens when...you've been strong for too long. Eventually, you'll have to let your emotions run free. Sometimes they come in laughter. Sometimes fury. And sometimes tears."

Hichigo swallowed shakily, pressing his lips together, before folding his own arms around Ichigo. They stayed like that for a while, Shiro's tears never seeming to dry.

"The stars," Hichigo whispered. Ichigo looked at him in surprise, letting go, as his hollow stood up and tilted his head backwards. "Is each of them a soul?"

Ichigo blinked, puzzled.

Shiro smiled genuinely for the first time that day. "I don't know who told this to me. But I can hear a voice in my head, sometimes. She tells me that each of the stars is a soul. Whether it be in Soul Society, or the Human World..."

"...And all the blank space in between are the hollows and people in Hell," Ichigo finished, slightly shocked at his ability to finish the sentence. "Did...did Masaki tell us that?"

"I would imagine so," Shiro responded sorrowfully. "At first, it seems there are more bad people than good. But...the blackness doesn't always represent evilness. The stars aren't always pure. There are people like Aizen, who has a soul, but is evil. And there are Hollows like Sora who aren't evil."

"And like you, Shiro," Ichigo added. He grinned in response to Shiro's incredulous look. "You're not evil. You just follow your instinct most of them time, which is to protect, at it's core. Although taking total control over our body and going batshit-insane isn't always the best method, you have good intentions."

"Aizen has good intentions, too, though," Shiro protested. "Doesn't that make me like him?"

"He should be a star, but instead he is the emptiness in the sky. You should be the evilness, but instead you're a star. There's a difference."

They were silent for a moment, watching the stars twinkle in the night sky, before Shiro spoke again. "Would I be the shine?"

"Huh?"

Shiro laughed with a sincerity that was incredibly out of character. "The shine is light, but it doesn't block out the darkness completely. I guess that would be me."

"Don't flatter yourself too much," Ichigo rebuked, smiling.

"I am the shine around your star, Ichigo. I am simply a part of your soul. I am neither a full soul nor a full hollow...but...I don't think I would rather be anything else."

Playfully, Ichigo grabbed Shiro and fell into the snow, cradling him to his chest. The hollow struggled slightly before relaxing into his arms. The readhead tousled his counterpart's hair affectionately. "Me neither, Shiro."

* * *

" _Oh my God!"_

" _I- I didn't think Ichigo swung that way…"_

" _HEADCANON ACCEPTED! LET THE FANFICTION ROLL OUT!"_

" _I have never seen a more kawaii moment than this."_

" _Aren't they supposed to be cousins?"_

" _...wow…"_

"WAKE UP, KUROSAKI!"

Ichigo was startled awake by the forceful kick of Tatsuki Arisawa. "Hey! What th-"

The athletic girl was fuming. "You have ten seconds to explain everything before I kick your face in."

Ichigo quickly looked around, and his eyes widened in realization. There was a large crowd surrounding them, with Orihime, Chizuru, Ganju, Hanataro, Keigo, Mizuiro, and Chad being only a few. They were on the riverside. Alone. He was still holding a sleeping Shiro in his arms. Shiro was supposed to be his cousin.

 _Shit._

"It's not what it looks like!" Ichigo burst out, panicking. "Hichi wanted to sleep by the river but it was cold and-"

"TIME'S UP!"

Ichigo shuddered as the shockwaves were sent throughout his body. "OW!"

Ganju smirked at him. "So. You were saying about him not being your boyfriend? I think you were bluffing about the whole cousin thing. You just didn't want to admit you'd finally gotten a boyfriend."

Tatsuki glared. "Is that it? You lied to us?!"

"WAIT NO YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG- AH!"

* * *

When Shiro woke up, shivering, he was still in the same position on the snow. Ichigo was lying suspiciously face down a few feet away with a multitude of bruises. "Huh…"

"THERE HE IS!"

"QUESTION HIM!"

Shiro blanched as several people raced towards him, equipped with notepads, pens, pencils, microphones, and cameras.

 _Shit._

Quickly, he exited out of the gigai, reforming himself in Ichigo's soul world. The familiar blue buildings and sky surrounded him, and he relaxed onto the side of the building. "I overstayed my visit," he remarked. "That's what you were gonna say, right, Old Man?"

Zangetsu nodded, standing on his pole a few feet away. "And you've made Ichigo's life a lot harder." He gestured towards a screen in the back, where they could see through Ichigo's eyes the fangirls, fudanshis, and fujoshis.

Shiro shrugged. "That could have been me. It wasn't."

"You _are_ him," Zangetsu reminded.

"In a way, I guess."

Zangetsu looked sad. "I don't want to think about how Ichigo would react to the truth."

Shiro glared at him. "For fuck's sake, Zangetsu! This is supposed to be a humor fic, not angst!"

"Huh?" Zangetsu blinked a few times. "Anyway, you have no right. You started talking about Masaki. We all know that whenever she appears, depressing stuff happens."

"That's just cruel."

"No, seriously! Grand Fisher, Hanza…"

Hichigo rolled his eyes. "That's only one canon moment."

"True, but-"

"Ah, shut yer trap, Old Man. I didn't ask Ichigo to get all shonen-ai on me. That's his fault."

They continued watching Ichigo get bombarded by questions and squeals, before Shiro remembered something. "Oh yeah...the cookies are still here."

Zangetsu looked confused. "Cookies?"

"Yeah, have you tried them? They taste like heaven. You can go there without needing to be a Soul Reaper, Human, Hollow, or Quincy." He smiled gently.

Causing Zangetsu to fall off his pole in shock.

"AH!"

Shiro suddenly grinned widely. "Ha! Finally! You owe me 100 ryo, Old Man!"

"W-what was that you just did?!"

"Oh, and losing your cool, too? That totally comes with another 100!"

"WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

* * *

Ichigo, hiding in an alleyway, suddenly felt a strange mix of smugness and pure terror. "...huh?"

* * *

A/N: YESSSSSS THIS IS FINALLY FLIPPING DONE. I have proven that I am not a totally dead author. Now, back to N's Journey.


End file.
